Back to Day One

I am sitting in a Subway, having some alone time before I go and get the boys from school...and watching the raindrops thru the window, puts me in a writing mood...so I thought I would take advantage of the moment and try and give you all some background into the why and whos of this blog....afterall we can't travel together into tomorrow until we tell al little about yesterday... As, I mentioned in the previous blog, I live with a life threatening disease, and I am sure that some of this blog will include mention of that, afterall, it is part of who I am, who I was, and who I will be....but I want to try and keep the focus of this postive, that no matter who might be reading this, might connect and relate....we all live with life threatening things, whether it is illness, we are facing, situations we have found ourselves in, circumstances, both beyond, and within our control, physical, emotional, or spiritual.....we are all not promised tomorrow, and each day that we awake to a new morning, are given a gift....because that is one more day...one more hour...one more minute to take a look around us, and either be thankful for what we have, or thankful for the chance to improve it. To give you a little of my story, we have to travel back to the time I was born...as stated before I was born with the same disease as my father...and when I was 18 months old, and he was 23, he passed away suddenly from complications from our illness. But God, is good, and he blessed my mom and I with a wonderful stepfather, who loved me as much as if he gave life to me....he brought me up in a Christian home, and early on, taught me the benefits of knowing both who Christ is, and the value of giving Him, His rightful place in my life. I have always missed my daddy, and wondered about him, and how it would have been to have known and remembered him, but not once have I felt sorry for myself...I know how blessed I am to have my step father in my life, and the brother and sister that was given thru him...I learned early on to trust God in that...that He knows our tomorrows,....we don't...he knows the overall view of our life, when we only know the moment....and I have learned to not question Him in that. But back to my story....I was not diagnosed until I was almost 20 and over the course of those years, went thru painful swelling attacks, and being told I was allergic to everything, or being asked constantly, what did you do, to cause this...as if living with this terrible thing that I knew took my father wasn't bad enough, to be accused of doing something on purpose to cause it?...really???? But looking back, I am grateful beyond any words to God...there have been countless times, my disease could and probably should have taken me...but He has always had His hand sheltering me....He has even blessed me to the point I work for the doctor who finally diagnosed me.....tell me that isn't God driven...to work everyday with, and for the Dr. in Middle Tennessee that knows more about my disease than anyone? For those of you not familiar with HAE, up until about 3 years ago, there was nothing to be done...NOTHING...to be done except wait out the attacks, and if need be, be intubated until they pass...basically kept alive, until the attack was over....I can remember lying in ICU when I was pregnant with my youngest son, with my head and neck twisted in this weird angle, watching my own breathing on a monitor, wondering if I was going to die, and take my unborn son with me, and leave his brother alone? But then in 2010, a rep walked into Dr. Wolf's office and brought me a miracle...my miracle...a product that is taken from donated blood, infused via a 15 min iv, and totally stops and reverses my attack and it's side effects...WHAT??? You mean I don't have to lay in ICU for days or on the bathroom floor in overwhelming pain??? Too good to be true...right?? But it was true...I still can't believe that sometimes...but it is and was still my miracle. I, of course, wanted and prayed for a way to share that with others...others who like me have spent to much time in pain...and defending themselves...and having to fight for every treatment that they needed and deserved....because they happen to have a disease that so few people know about, much less understand....... So that leads me to my journey....something that I truly believe God designed right at the moment He designed me...hear my heart....do I believe in an unjust, unfair God, who gave me this horrible disease, no....but I do believe that there are certain consequences to having sin in this world....this world isn't what God intended it to be...He did not intend for His people to have things like HAE anymore than He intended to have to send His Son to ransom us...but that is the way of sin...it hurts not only the sinner but everyone around them.....and as much as I believe that...I also believe in a wonderful Father, who will take the horrible things of this world, and if we entrust them to HIM, will turn them back to good....who will take the difficult pathways that are ours to walkout and will lead us to others who need to see HIM, and HIS goodness, and then in turn take that to someone else. And I believe that as much as we are each given our own cross to bear, HE will give us the strength to bear it, and along the way, lean in to carry our burdens for us.... so I will stop there for now....and will save the story of exactly how He put me in the exact right place, at the exact right time, to meet the exact right people to begin my journey for another day....but remember...if He can put me into the right chain of events...He will (and wants) to do the same for you...so keep that in the back of your thoughts....you never know the moment your journey will begin.....