Thomas Shoes

The other day I was waiting in a restroom while Trent took care of business so to speak, and in the stall next to him, was a little boy, standing, and waiting on his mom....the only thing I could see was just his little Thomas, the Train, sneakers.....it instantly took me back to another time, with another little boy, with those same shoes....a time that isn't that long ago, but yet seems like an enternity. It literally made my arms -(and my heart) ache, missing the times that Trent and Tyler were that small and still little enough for me to gather up in my arms and shelter them from the world, and let them me just be mine, if only for a moment. It made me think of all the times, we would just snuggle in the big recliner and they would tell me stories or ask me a million questions, or simply just be silent and take in each other. Trent finished up and when he came out of his stall, saw the look on my face, and the unfallen tears in my eyes, and asked, "what's wrong, momma?"....not wanting to alarm him, I just said, mommy is being silly and missing your little hugs...he paused for a moment, and while he might have thought of something "Trent-like" to say, he didn't, he simply walked over, put his arms around me and gave me a hug...then he said, "you'll still be my momma, even when my arms are bigger.".....well....wow.....those of you who know me well, know that it took literally every ion of my being not to dissolve right there.....but I held it together...and later when I was rethinking of the moment, God whispered to me, "I miss those times also, you know.".....well that started the water works all over again, and it stayed with me and on my mind over the next few days....and as I often do, when I started to journal about it, God really showed me what He had meant. I thought He had meant, He missed us coming to Him, or relying on Him, like our kids do when they are small and think the "big, bad wolf" is at their heels, and while I still think that is part of it...He really showed me another side of Him, that I had forgotten about...the side of Him, that needs and wants to be our Daddy.....granted, He is still the Almighty, Creator of the Universe, and deserves the respect that dictates, but underneath all of that, he is still our daddy...our protector...our shelter...the one who laughes with us, and honestly sometimes at us, like I do when I watch my boys being silly and enjoying life, ...who is there with us, when we feel sorrow, or pain, or fear....He misses us the way we were when we first gave our lives to Him, awestruck by Him, wanting to spend every moment with Him, telling Him all our stories, our hopes and fears, and our dreams.....I think sometimes we are just like my boys, we outgrow some of the aspects of God...and while I don't think all of that is bad...He wants us to walk out our faith, to "grow" in Him, and venture out with the things He has equipped us with and taught us...but I think we need to find a balance of "growing up" in God and still letting Him have his Daddy place with us. I think about how it still makes my heart swell, to have the boys simply slip their hand into mine when they are unsure of something...not say a word...just take my hand for reassurance....it reminds me that no matter how old they are or how big they have grown, they still need their mommy sometimes....so I guess the point of this is....take a moment to put your little Thomas shoes -(or ballarina slippers) back on for a little while, and climb up into your Father's lap and tell your story...ask Him to tell you a story....or maybe even better, just simply lie there and take Him in..let Him consume you....let Him feel needed by You....somehow I think we will walk away a little differently than we arrived.