anchored.....

I just returned from a trip to the beach. AHHHH....how relaxing, how beautiful,...what a reminder of the handiwork and powerfulness of God. I loved sitting and watching my kiddos snorkeling and looking for treasures under the surface, and sharing their excitement when they would pop up with different things for me to see. Yes, most of their finds were not perfect, they were chipped, or broken, or worn from the tossing of the waves, but taking the time to examine them with the their young, innocent eyes, it amazed me at the intricate detail of each one....how each one had tiny little details, and it made me wonder, did God hand paint each one, did He hand carve each little etching detail with such delicate care? He, yet again, gave me an opportunity to share, that we, like those shells, are different examples of His love, yes...we each have, or will have over time, cracks or imperfections, but that those blemishes doesn't take away from the fact, that each of us, are handcrafted by a Father, who also took the time, to "handcraft" us, putting tiny little details into our beings as well, and that if He took the time to make each of those shells so beautiful, how much more does He put into us, the ones who are made in His image?

 He spoke to me so much over those few days, another example that I am sorting out, is how I felt standing in the surf, feeling the ground shift from beneath me. My sister and I had talked about that feeling, and how she loves it....the roughness and the pull of the water, and the ground, fading from beneath you, as you sink into the waves. I, on the other hand....HATE...that feeling. I want to know that I am secure. I want to know that I can walk out into the water in my own time, my own way and choosing. I want to know that the ground is solid beneath me, as it should be. The entire time, I was in Florida, anchors were in the forefront of my thoughts. I had told my friend to help me watch for an anchor on a boat, because I wanted a picture of one. I didn't know what lesson God was working out in me, but I knew He had something to say with an anchor, in fact, the verse in Hebrews,..."I have this hope, as an anchor for my soul...strong...and secure...", literally kept playing over and over in my thoughts. We had went to the Naval Aviation Museum, on the Naval airbase in Pensicola-(which was awesome btw..), and there were two huge anchors there, pictures are on my wall, but I had to laugh out loud at our Father, He heard my prayer for a good anchor for a picture and representation of that verse, and boy did He deliver....this anchor was massive, overpowering, and a wonderful representation of strength, so much more than the little anchors on the boats in the Harbor....but back to my point....Standing in that surf, feeling that uneasiness of the shifting beneath me, He brought the anchor back to my mind. The ocean is beautiful, yes, it is powerful, but it is also fickle, it never stays the same, not even for a moment, with each wave comes something different, new shells to see, new things to distract us, just long enough for the ground beneath us to slip away, a little at a time, until we are "knee deep", in the mire, having to pull with all we have to step out. It made me understand all anew the importance of knowing what is my anchor, my security,...knowing that while I may get distracted by all that is around me, my hope is strong, secure, steadfast, and that I can depend on Him, to hold me, grounded to Him.

 I have more to write....He is calling me to another place with this blog, than I first imagined....I have been fighting Him, on it, because He is asking me to be very real, very open, and therefore very vulnerable with things He is walking out in me. I having always asked Him, why He didn't choose to give me the gift of singing, I love to write praise songs more than anything, but they mainly sit in a box, collecting dust, because I don't have the voice to sing them..but another thing He has told me during this trip, is that He is calling me to write, sharing my story...why I dont know....things that are personal, painful...things I don't want others to know....but I have to be obediant to Him, and hold fast to the verse He has shown me....Psalms 144:1....."He is my strength, and prepares my hands for war, and teaches my fingers how to fight". I may still want that voice to sing, and may not be ready to share all of my story, but I have to hold fast to the truth that He will not ask me to do anything that he will not prepare me for, nor give me the strength to do....I am safe with Him....I am secure with Him....I am anchored with Him.....I don't know why I have chosen to write these silly little writings, maybe it is for my kiddos some day....or maybe it is just for me...to show me that He is taking me on a journey to change who I am at my core, and if writing is the way He is calling me to "fight the good fight"....then I have no choice but to obey.....but if you are reading these, please have patience with me....please have accountability with me....and please...please....always remember....always look for your journey....it is out there....just waiting for you to take your first step.....until the next.....