It ain't all about me......

As some of you know, I have been struggling with a decision in my life right now...I feel as though I am being pulled in two very different directions.  I have prayed, and prayed, not to mention had many of my friends also praying for wisdom in the is particular area.  God is faithful as always, and He has been speaking to me regarding all of this, but the answer I keep getting is wait, or not yet.  I know that well meaning friends and loved ones don't understand why I keep staying where I am....I myself find myself wondering that as well.  Based on previous blogs, you know that "the waiting" is one of the things I struggle with the most...I overthink and overplan everything...my daddy will often warn people..."she is a woman of  a million questions"....but I am finding that this is not the way when walking in faith.  I read just this week, how we are like a puzzle to God....we see the little "corner" pieces, or we sort according to color, trying to find an order to this life....what we don't see is that God sees the finished puzzle....he sees how each piece that we have from yesterday and today, fit together, as well as the pieces of tomorrow,  that we haven't been given yet.  I guess that is how I have been looking at this situation.....I have been taking the pieces that I have....the pieces that are unhappy, or pieces that bring turmol or conflict, and I want to cram all those together quickly, and move on to the pretty pieces.....I forgot that not all the pieces of my life are just for me....there are also pieces along the way that are shaped in God's timing, and while we are working on our pieces of our puzzle with Him, He is also working on someone elses puzzle, and sometimes....those intertwine in a beautiful, spiritual way that leaves both of  our puzzles a little more heavenly. 

      Just last week, I was sharing with a sweet couple from my small group, and through talking to them, God used her to reveal the reason that I have not been released in an area that I really, really wanted to be released in....I knew in my spirit that He was saying no....I have been rebellious to that, and have, at times, thrown a "hissy" fit spiritually, but God is patient, and after I get over that fit, is still standing there, saying no....not yet.....well, after this conversation, and revelation, I have been more open to praying about that.....He spoke to me through them, that until  His will and goals had been accomplished, I was staying put....sigh.......I, of course, just assumed the lesson was about me, and for me....I haven't even been praying for Him to reveal if it wasn't, but...I have been praying that He was give me strength and wisdom to understand the lesson when it presented itself.....well today, I think it might have appeared, at least in part.....Without revealing to much on here, I had a wonderful conversation with a sweet, beautiful new friend today.....I have felt drawn to her from the moment we met, and like she said today, I feel like I have known her for awhile.  We had a wonderful time chatting with each other, and even shared a few laughs and tears.....but she shared with me, how she feels like God is speaking to her in certain areas....how she has this desire to know Him more, and know, that He knows her....but Satan has his grip as well...he has fed her lie after lie.....if she said once.."I know this makes me  bad, or I know this sounds bad"  once, she said it fifty times.....I finally told her to stop, that is a lie...my Father is not a Father of condemnation, but a God who gently convicts and stirs....and I told her that God loves her so much, that He is wooing her....He has a something special that He is just waiting to show and tell her....He loves her that much.   It was touching moment.  I thank God that He brought her into my life, and I think we will form a friendship through this.....and I know.... I know that it was not by accident that our paths have crossed...we are part of each other's puzzle, and I know mine will be all the more sweeter and beautiful with her story in it.  And I know that part of my lesson is in obediance in staying put, even when I am not happy, or I am being tested, it is for a bigger purpose, and I am glad He gave the strength to be obedient and stay where I am, at least for today.  Please say a prayer for her....it is exciting to see God wooing someone He loves, but we all know that satan is also right there...ready to decieve and devour.

Thanking God for today's part of the journey, and thanking Him for reminding me that not of these lessons are about me., and most of all, thanking Him for allowing me to witness Him handcrafting these pieces of the puzzle......but for the grace of God, go I......