Today, I find myself wondering how it is that I have managed to live as long as I have in a state of near blindness and not even realize it? Was I so self absorbed that I didn't even notice those along the "side of road" so to speak along the path of life that I have been walking? I remember reading the story of the good Samaritan in the Bible, and thinking, "how could those men have been so mean? "Surely I would have been the one to stop and help the wounded man." But now I wonder.....how many times have I walked right on past, not even noticing the broken, wounded, hurting around me?
For the past several months, the boys and I have been praying on the way to school, specifically for God to remind us that we are here to represent Him to those who need Him, and we might be the only evidence of Him that they see. To put people throughout our day that are hurting, or confused, or weak, and to help us to recognize those moments and "listen", be "in tune" with what His message is for them. I have said before that God truly hears those prayers, He desires us to see this world as He does, through His eyes, and with His compassion. He will send those people our way, when we ask Him to.. I have to admit, there are times, I have to "check" myself, because it isn't always easy to walk that out, often it is that person that we aren't so fond of, or maybe has been less than nice to us in the past, or someone we wouldn't even communicate with on our own terms and conditions. I find that more often than not, it isn't a simple word, or prayer, or pat on the back, paired with a quick, "I'll pray for ya", that they need. This life is hard, and it doesn't always present itself in a pretty little, quick fix package.
I have shared that I understand now, at least in part why I am still in a certain place, that I thought I would have left months ago. At least three different people have been put into my path, that I know, I KNOW have been "God moments". As soon as they occurred, I knew in my spirit, that God whispered, 'There is your answer, that is why I am not finished with you here'. Has that been easy? No. Have I been perfectly obedient in accepting that? No. At least not in the beginning, but I found myself in another situation last week, and after it was over, I had a clear revelation from God. He has given me freedom in some hard, deep rooted areas of my life. I hadn't even noticed it until then, in fact, in occurred to me, that in focusing more on Him, and His will for my pathway the past 10 months or so, I had not even noticed when the freedom and the healing had come. He revealed to me, that is sometimes how He works, something just shifts inside....just lets go and makes room for Him, and His will....on a spiritual level, we are so in tune with Him, that we don't even notice when the hurt, and the wounded places let go. In realizing this, I had a revelation from Him. He spoke very clearly to me, "I have healed you, and through your wounds, have given you a voice, a voice to encourage and remind broken, hurting people, that I care....they matter to me, how dare you try to keep that silent? You have asked me to bring these people to you, I have heard your prayer, and they are coming..speak to them, love on them, introduce them to me". I cannot even type those words without having to walk away and compose myself....how overwhelming that He would trust this wonderful treasure in such a fragile clay pot as me? But then again, how could I not share what He has done and is doing for me?
That brings me to today's lesson. I was in a situation today, where I met one of His broken children, who actually looked at me, with despair, true, despair in her eyes as she said that she had been praying to God, and He wasn't listening to her......how sad....to truly believe that. Her situation was like so many of us have found ourselves in at one point or another...she had been taking time off work without pay to care for her elderly ailing mother, and had found herself not having enough money to pay for gas to get to work the rest of this week. She had this sweet, fat little pet bunny, that she had put in the back of her truck with a sign that said, "please buy my bunny for $20, so I can buy gas to get to work".......You could tell this little rabbit was well loved, and her cherished pet, he was the sweetest thing, and loved to be petted. We all tried to give her money, which she didn't want to accept, she didn't want a "free gift", that she couldn't repay, or offer something in return for......hmmm...kinda reminds me of another situation where a "free gift", one that NOTHING we have to offer can repay.......they had told her that we live on a farm, and could take the bunny with no problems, so I went to sit with her and discuss. I told her I didn't want to take her, obviously, cherished family pet, to which she begin to cry, and say if she didn't have money for gas, she wouldn't have money to feed him, and would rather know he would go to a home who would take care of him and love him as much as she does. As she was crying and telling me this, I felt the spirit tug at me, and speak to me, and I knew this was not by chance that she and I were crossing paths. I prayed that God would give me the words that he had for her. I told her that I wanted to help, that I had spoken to my husband, and he wanted to help...that it wasn't that long ago, we had been in similar situations, and did not judge her...that it is only by the Grace of God, go I. She, then tells me that she has been praying to God for help, and for faith, and didn't know if He was hearing her. I was then able to tell her that God answers prayers in all kinds of ways, sometimes not how we imagine, or how we want, but that I felt that God had led her there, where she could be helped, without judgement, and how we are all called to be each other's angels at one time or another, and we both had to be obedient in this God appointed meeting. I had to be obedient in letting God bless her through me, but she also had to be obedient in accepting His blessing. It was a lesson, that was God ordained, God appointed, and we both had to be in agreement to receive from Him. And I also reminded her that He would honor that obedience, and in turn, would put her in the position someday to do the same for someone else. To watch the Light, and the Life, come back in her eyes is something I cannot find the words to express, what an honor to be able to remind one of His children, one of my "sisters" that she matters....she matters....she is not forgotten, or judged, or condemned by Him. I was able to remind her that He loved her so much that He set into motion events that would allow us to cross paths. I have found myself thinking of the woman at the well, and thinking that is how Jesus must have seen her. He didn't look at her and see "whore" or "trash", He looked at her and saw worth and value. It also reminded me of a time not so long ago, that I was like that woman at the well, maybe our sins weren't the same in nature, but we were still the same distance from Him, unable to free ourselves from the web that we had weaved and entangled ourselves in, and yet He gave all He had in order to bridge that distance. Once see this world through His eyes, it brings a whole new clarity to things.....it brings a whole new meaning to, "I was blind, but now I see"......
Today I am thankful for life, for love, for forgiveness. I am thankful for a Father who continues to speak to me, until He is able to breakthrough my selfishness. But most of all, I am thankful He speaks to me through all of His beautiful creation, even fat, furry, bunnies.......hoping to see tomorrow's part of this journey through His eyes.....but for the grace of God go I.......
No comments:
Post a Comment